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Attitude is EVERYTHING!
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This is the hardest, but most important step.
The goal of GrandPlanToFindAMan.com is to help
you make changes in your life so that you are ready and open to not only meeting a man, but letting him into your life.
The biggest change you may have to make is in your attitude toward yourself and why a man would be attracted to you.
On other pages of GrandPlanToFindAMan.com, we have focused on outward appearances. This section is totally about your
attitude about yourself. In almost any survey you see where men are asked what makes a woman attrative, self-confidence
and a satisfaction with their own life is almost always mentioned. If you are not confident that you are a worthy person
that men will want to spend time with, men pick up on that in a heartbeat.
Remember, men
look at women differently than women look at women. If men senses that you are confident in yourself
and that you believe they want you, it's like they think they're missing something about you and will start paying
attention. It goes back to that old mysterious thing. When I changed my attitude about my attraction to men and
did little things like wearing lip-gloss and updating my accessories, the men at work were convinced that I had a new boyfriend
that I wasn't telling them about! Believe me, they are now paying more attention to me and treating me even more
like a lady. Even though I sometime have to wear a hard-hat, safety glasses & work clothes, they always treat me
like a lady -- and here's a secret -- you have to let them! If they treat you like one of the guys,
that's great, but I'm not looking for another buddy. I'm looking for Mr. Right. And guess what, the
men that are looking for a new lady in their life are not looking at their "buddies" either.
So, that being said - let's get to work.
This is the hardest step, but if you don't understand this, accept it and move forward you may never get what you really
want in life. Right here, right now, decide which fear is greater: the fear over making some
changes or the fear that you may never have a man in your life. I made the choice to not give in to the fear of
making changes in myself. After all, the changes that I'm going to ask you to make are all within you. They
don't have to be discussed with your friends, you don't even have to tell anyone about them. That's what
GrandPlanToFindAMan.com is all about. We're here to help you and encourge you.
I'm
not asking you to be a different person, I'm asking you to not be afraid to let the world (including men) see how great
you really are. I know so many women that are truly great, interesting, fun women, but they dress 10
years older than they are, they don't know how to update their clothing, their makeup or their hair. This takes
a little courage to change this and that's what we're working on here. So find your courage girls ....here
we go!
You have to be confident
that you are a great person and that anyone would want to know you.
Now, how you do this is different for everyone so I'm going to make a lot of suggestions. You will
have to pick the ones that you feel ae right for you, but here are some of my basic rules:
#1 Don't let other peoples fears and lack of confidence
become yours.
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We all love our girlfriends, but they are not always the most helpful and LOVE
to share in your misery and love for you to share in theirs. That doesn't mean you can't be friends, just remember
that you are your own unique person with different experiences and different outcomes. And as much as we love our mothers,
YOU ARE NOT YOUR MOTHER!! Don't let your families view of you stop you from becoming your own person.
It took me many years to come to grips that my family saw me as a very different person than who I actually was. I've
decided to live MY LIFE according to my own wants, needs and my own direction. Families can be a great support, but
they can also be very judgemental and limiting. I have adopted a new motto: "I'll live my life,
you live yours. I don't have the right to make decisions for you and you don't have the right to make decisions
for me." Of course, a lot of times we want someone's opinion, but remember, it's their OPINION.
My life has been a lot easier and I've been much happier since I stopped trying to get my families approval on what I
do. And while I'm on the subject of families, they do not have the right to KNOW everything about your life.
Believe me they don't tell you everything either!
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#2 Be ready for some resistence to your new-found confidence
and look.
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Again, we all love our girlfriends and families, but when you make changes,
even little ones, they not only notice but seem to feel it's their duty to comment on them. Remember
the goal - it's not important that they approve of everything that you do. Use the "mysterious smile"
trick and before long, they'll be begging you for your secret!
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#3 Find confidence-building books that inspire you and read,
read & read again!
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In our "Homework" section, we will suggest a new book every month
that we feel may help. Feel free to search out books on your own and recommend them to us for everyone to share.
We're all about helping each other. My favorite confidence-building book is Joel Olsteen's "Your
Best Life Now". You can also watch him on TV and go to his web-site. For me, this book is very
grounding and helps me to know that I deserve the best life has offer me. You are the one that needs to believe that
you deserve what you want in life and then you'll have the confidence to go after it. Nobody can "Make you
feel" better about yourself - it's all up to you and I KNOW you can do it.
Go to: Reading is to the mind...
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#4 PRACTICE BEING A CONFIDENT PERSON! |
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What? Practice? Yes, that is what I said. When you go to
the store, from the moment you get out of the car, PRACTICE being a confident, attractive woman. Hold your head up and
walk tall, make sure you have a pleasant look on your face (remember the lip gloss!) and walk with confidence! Keep
positive thoughts in your head as you do your shopping. You never know when you may see that good-looking guy from the
coffee shop! If you find this hard for you to do, here's a big tip for you: Go to another
town and do your practicing! It's easier for you to be confident when no one knows you. The
more you practice, the easier it will be and pretty soon, your whole attitude will change and you'll be confident ALL
THE TIME.
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#5 NEVER leave the house hoping no one see's you.
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I'm not saying you have to be dressed to the nines, but you DO
have to be presentable. If you put something on and think to yourself "I sure hope no one see's me", then
STOP. You can wear a simple shirt, jeans and flip-flops, BUT they must be neat & clean, hair combed &
at least your lip gloss on. I'm serious. If there is somone you have your eye on, you sure don't want
to run into him at the gas station looking like a bag woman. Even if a man is attracted to you, he will never
get that image of you out of his mind.
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#6 Develop a mysterious smile! |
Don't be afraid to be
a mystery woman! |
Developing a mysterious smile is VERY useful! Men are intruiged if
they think you have a secret - whatever it is! It's a way to keep them wanting to know more about you.
It's also a way to get out of answering questions from your friends about what you're up to. Don't worry,
you won't look like an idiot - unless you starting talking to yourself! You don't have to answer people questions
- just give a little mysterious smile and say things like "whatever do you mean?" or "I don't know"
and shrug your shoulders.
Homework: As you start making little changes, practice this tip. It
can be a lot of fun!
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