We've all heard the old saying "you need to walk YOUR walk, not just talk your talk."  I've always thought that applied only to those people who were big talkers about what they were always GOING to do but never really got around to it.  (My ex is a wonderful example of this thought process!!)  This morning, I heard saying posed as a question:  Are you walking your walk or are you just talking?  Wow - it stopped me cold as I realized I really needed to think about whether I was doing that or just spouting off?

Step 1:  Listen to what your "talk" is.  Do you ever really listen to what actually comes out of your mouth?  If you listen to what you're telling other people, you will probably learn some very interesting things about yourself.  Do you tell your friends & co-workers how excited your are about something and all the possibilites but then go home and tell yourself how it'll never really work?  Do you start some project and get all excited about it but then quit before you actually accomplish it?  We all have closets full of supplies from past projects that are still that - just supplies.   At lunch yesterday, a co-worker was telling me how she had a craft project that she'd been trying to do for years but has the supplies for it stored in two different places.  When she finds the one bag, she can't remember where the other one is so she can't get this project done.  This has been going back & forth for 2 years now.  My question:  Does she really want to do this project?  I think not.

Step 2:  Identify if you really want to WALK THE WALK or not.  Is this something that you really want or are you just thinking out loud?  Be more careful about the "TALKING THE TALK" part.  If you have a lot of ideas and you're always "talking the talk" but not "walking the walk", it discounts your ideas - even in your own mind.  When you do really know what you want, "talk the talk" first to yourself.  It's not necessary to share this talk with everyone in site.  YOU are the important person you're talking to.  In fact, sometimes when you "talk your talk" to some people, they feel the need to let you know you shouldn't be thinking that way!!!!  Be careful with that.  It's your talk, not theirs.

Step 3:  After listening to yourself and then idenifying what you really want to be "talking & walking", make small changes in your behavior & commication so that these two elements line up in your life.  When your beliefs & your actions are the same, it's called "congruency".  Being congruent means that your actions match what you believe.  If you really believe that men will notice you then you'll dress in a way that will attract men.  (we're not talking trash here, but a little bit sexy is OK girls).  If you thing you aren't attractive to men, you'll dress like your grandma or the little league coach!  Do you see why I talk so much about what you believe about yourself when it comes to men?  This why it's important to work on yourself and what you want and believe about yourself.  What you believe you can have and want will be reflected in your behavior.   I know it's pretty heavy thinking here, but it's true.  If you think you don't deserve a great guy, your actions will reflect that.  If you believe you deserve a great guy, you'll actions will reflect that. 

So, we're back to working on ourselves again - oh how I hate that!  Find out what works for you personally to encourage and motivate YOU.    Don't wait for someone else to tell you what you want or need, figure it out for yourself and figure out a what to keep yourself motivated.  This is true when it comes to relationships, careers or anything else in life.  Learn to "Walk your walk" and not just "talk your talk".  When you get these two things lined up, you may be surprised at what happens to your life!!

Not that any thing is wrong with your life now—other than you’d like a man in it. How much of your life you want to change is up to you. Only you can decide that. My point here is that you can change your life if you want to but here is the key: YOU are the only one that can change it. Redesigning your life is hard work and doesn’t happen overnight. It takes determination, persistence and an on-going commitment to yourself.

Being determined to have what you want means not letting other people or events deter you from your goal. That doesn’t mean you have to go around announcing your plan to everyone or discussing it with everyone. The more people you discuss your plan with, the more opinions you will get—and they may not be encouraging or helpful to you! I used to discuss a lot of my life with a lot of people. Over the last several years, I’ve learned that other peoples opinions are skewed by THEIR experiences, successes and losses in life and may not even apply to you. I know, I know, friends & family usually are well-meaning, but many times they are discouraging and downright disapproving. But this isn’t about them—it’s about what you want. After doing the work of self-reflecting & soul-searching to figure out what you really want in life, be determined to go after what you want no matter what other peoples opinion.

Be persistent in going after what you want in life. Keeping your goal fore-front in your mind so that you can take advantage of any opportunity that may come into your life. Be persistent in your new skin care routine. Read that new book like you have a book report due in two weeks. Set small goals for yourself that can get you to a larger goal. I’ve been bad about not washing my face at night so I actually made a checklist & put it on my nightstand to remind me. Persistence is deciding what needs to be done and then make sure you do it. After all, the goal is all for you.

Commit to YOURSELF to do what is necessary to reach your goal. How many times have we heard “you won’t do it if you’re not doing it for yourself” (usually about weight loss)? It really is true. But the key here is that you have to believe it can happen for you and you have to really WANT it to happen. At some point, you faced the fact that you really do want a man in your life. Now, give yourself the gift of really committing to that goal and the process it may take to achieve it. Commit to doing what it takes to keep yourself motivated. For me, it’s listening to motivating speakers & reading. Find out what keeps you motivated and use it to keep yourself moving toward your goal. Determine what you want, be persistent and commit yourself to the process. You can have what you want.!